A Message for Working Mums at Half Term
In this months’ blog, I am going to talk about the challenges of being a working mum and embracing the work/life juggle.
Raising children is difficult. There, I’ve said it. It is out in the open. You don’t get a trial run and, more often than not, you are thinking on the hoof and working things out as you go along.
But running a small business is hard, too! You have to be seen, be noticed and make timely decisions to grow your business. In order to do this, you need to be on it – ALL THE TIME!
So, how can working mums embrace the work/life juggle?
The challenge is making those daily decisions that enable us to be the best mum we can possibly be while simultaneously working or running a successful business.
Guilt-trip
Okay, one of my daily struggles is with the never-ending guilt trip. Whenever I prioritise a client’s needs over the needs of my children, I am filled with guilt, self-doubt and an overwhelming feeling of failure. Does this resonate with you?
It doesn’t matter how hard I work or how much love and care I put into family life I am never sure that it is enough.
But since my burnout experience (which I talked about in a blog), I have begun to make peace with myself.
I am doing the best that I can possibly do on all fronts – work, family, friends. I have recognised that I am not Superwoman, and my best has to be good enough. I have shrugged off the expectations of the outside world, and I now congratulate myself on my weekly wins, no matter how small or trivial they seem.
Why? Because when embracing the work/life juggle, it is so easy to get into the mindset of criticising oneself for so-called failings, (that really are not failings at all), that it chips away at your confidence, prevents you from making decisions and affects all areas of your life negatively.
By concentrating on the positive aspects of my week, I am in a better frame of mind and feel energised and motivated to tackle the challenges ahead.
Work-life balance
Just what is that? It is at the heart of the challenges of being a working mum, but I am sure that if I asked 100 people, they would all have a different solution!
Being a working mum is all about embracing the work/life juggle. Or, as I like to think of it, a plate-spinning exercise. And, the more plates we spin, the more likelihood there is of one dropping and smashing on the floor!
There is a wonderful video by Shonda Rhimes, (well-known American television producer and screenwriter and founder of her own production company called Shondaland.)
In it, she explains that there is no answer, and that for a working mum, success in one area leads to compromise or even failure in another. Life is a constant trade-off of one decision against another.
In other words, to keep those eight or ten plates spinning, another has to fall to the floor. While we are embracing the work/life juggle and running madly from plate to plate to keep them spinning, why do we always focus on the one that has fallen, rather than the all the plates that are still spinning?
There is no such thing as being perfectly organised in order to be successful in both motherhood and business. You cannot possibly be perfect in every area of your life simultaneously – it is a myth and striving for it is just a waste of energy.
It is okay to feel pulled in twenty different directions and stretched thin. You are not alone – embracing the work/life juggle resonates with all working mums!
It is impossible to plan for every occurrence in daily family and work life. Yes, you can be super-organised - with flexible work schedules and blocking out non-negotiable family time - but there will always be that last-minute client request, or the sudden onset of a childhood illness.
It is okay to let a spinning plate fall by prioritising your children before work when they really need your care and attention. That one fallen plate does not define your success or failure.
Expectations of others
One of the challenges of being a working mum is the expectations of others. Even today, there are still double standards about working mums. Some people assume that if you are a successful business woman, you have neglected your children. I am going to say something controversial here, but you really are not in control of others’ expectations.
I am here to let you know that what others think of you is their problem, not yours. As long as you always do you best for your family, your business and yourself, what they may think of you is completely irrelevant. It is your life, and you must live it to the best of your ability.
Part of embracing the work/life juggle is to shut out all those stereotypes and the expectation of being perfect. You will be all the better for it.
What about me?
The constant plate-spinning and juggling of priorities can have consequences on our health. Another challenge of being a working mum is finding time for yourself (yet another plate to spin!)
We need to remember that we have an identity outside that of being a mother and a business woman.
It is therefore important that you take time for yourself. Time to relax and unwind. Time to pursue a hobby or two. Take time for a social life outside work and family. We need space away from home and business to remind ourselves of who we are.
I know (from my own recovery from burnout), the toll that exhaustion and stress can take on physical and mental health.
If you are constantly stressed out and run down, you can’t possibly function at your best, either at home or at work. Every area of your life could suffer the consequences of neglecting your own health.
It is therefore crucial that you prioritise self-care. Your mental and physical wellbeing need attention, or you may run the risk of burnout. Block off some time in your schedule to take up a hobby, go to the gym, visit a spa – whatever it may be. After all, if you are not well, who will look after your children and run your business while you recover?
Think of it in a similar vein to the in-flight instructions given by cabin crew. If you put on your own oxygen mask first, you will be able to help others!
Embracing The Work/Life Juggle
A Final Word
I hope that by sharing this message of solidarity with other working mums as half-term approaches, helps you to feel a little less overwhelmed by the challenges of being a working mum.
Simply knowing that there are other working mums facing the same challenges and feeling the pressure of managing multiple responsibilities, will help you to feel less alone and relieve some of that pressure.
If you want to stop doing everything in your business, and find more time for self-care and/or your family, call me, Elaine of Spero Solutions, on 07846 754747 today. We can discuss how an online business manager can help you to embrace the work/life juggle by giving you back some of that precious commodity – TIME.